Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
