so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
