I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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