The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
