So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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