bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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