I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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