5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
