3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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