I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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