Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
