I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
its not stalking. its research.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
