I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
