I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
