ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
