And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
