Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
They have beer where we have blood.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
