U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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