I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
