Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
