am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
