Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
