i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
