This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
