Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
