Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
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