Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Bang-toberfest begins!!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
