Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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