Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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