oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
