I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
