Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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