it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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