My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
