Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
