My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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