No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
