So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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