I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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