he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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