P.S. I can't hear my feet
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
