My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
