So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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