I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize