the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
