So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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