I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
