you traded sex for a burrito?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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