We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
