i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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