Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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