Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
