if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
