My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
