you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
