Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
