There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize