found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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