fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
