My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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