with your own penis?
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
